A God Damned Alley
by Night Essence
Summary: Spike’s thoughts on being the only survivor after ‘Not Fade Away’ and his memories of the others. Warning: Slight Slash.
1. Spike's View

Disclaimer: I do not own Spike. I repeat, I do not own Spike, he belongs Joss and Mutant Enemy, the lucky bastards. I don't own the song either. It belongs to Evanescence.

Pairings: Slight Angel/Spike

Summary: Spike's thoughts on being the only survivor after 'Not Fade Away' and his memories of the others. Warning: Slight Slash. The song is in italics.

Once upon a time there was a great vampire named Angelus. Now Angelus wasn't very bright, it comes from his being a neanderthal, and he went out and killed a gypsy princess. The stupid sod thought he could get away with it too, but he didn't. You see kiddies, the gypsies cursed Angelus with a soul. And this led to him becoming a big pouf-like savior, which leads to my current dilemma.

Angelus or Angel, as he's called with a soul, decided to bring hell on Earth by trying to destroy the partners. That's right, the pouf tried to bring down the Senior Partners. And here's the kicker, it worked. He defeated their base of operations on Earth and rounded up his band of do-gooders to defeat the demons sent by the Partners. Angel's ragtag group consisted of a former demon-god, a half-dead lawyer, and the only other vampire with a soul, me.

"_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears"_

Let me sum this up for you, they're dead. All of them. Blue, Charlie, the pouf...they're all dead. But me, I'm still here. A week after we went to war, and I'm still here in this god-damned alley. I can't leave. I think I'm going crazy again. I'm afraid to leave this place and be all alone in the world. I'm lost, lost like a little whiny kid.

"_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase"_

I saw all of them die. Right in front of my eyes. Charlie boy was ripped apart by Gorra-gorra demons, nasty buggers that lot. And Blue...she never saw it coming. She was too busy trying to save Charlie, that when the Calcic demon raised his sword, she didn't stand a chance. Her head came clean off, interestingly enough she didn't bleed blue. It was more of a purple color. It was like her blue blood and Fred's red blood mixed. Strange, huh? And Angel, oh gods Angel. There was one demon left, one. And he tried to stop it from killing me. It stabbed him, at the exact same time the fucking Powers That Be gave him his humanity. I twisted the demon's neck, forgetting my own injuries. I was too wrapped up in my grief. Everybody I had left was gone.

"_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I've held your hand though all of these years_

_But you still have all of me"_

I ran to Angel's side. He was still alive, but barely, and he was crying.

"It tried to kill you. I couldn't...let that happen."

"Shush, luv. Don't cry, Angel. You stupid pouf, you didn't have to save me. I would've survived, I always do." My words were choked out sobs.

"I love you. Always have, always will. Good-bye, Will." Angels' last words were but whispers. I closed his eyes and wiped away my tears. I loved the git too, and he left me here, all alone. Eventually, the demon bodies and the bodies of my friends disappeared. A last gift from the bloody Powers, I bet.

"_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_And though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along"_

I still see him here, in this god-damned alley. It's probably the reason I can't leave. Sometimes, I'm so sure I see him, that I talk to him. And he responds. We talk about the good times, and the bad. But when I look again he's gone, and then I know for sure that I'm alone, and that I'll never leave this god-damned alley.


	2. Angel's View

Disclaimer: I do not own Angel. I repeat, I do not own Angel, he belongs Joss and Mutant Enemy, the lucky bastards. I don't own the song either. It belongs to Evanescence.

Pairings: Slight Angel/Spike

Author's Note: A God-Damned Alley was meant to start out as a one-shot song-fic, but I got bit by one of those plot bunnies that all the authors talk about. I think my song-fic has now officially turned into a drabble. Yay! Thanks, please read and review.

Once upon a time there was an angelic-looking vampire named William. Now William was a young poet who was turned by a vampire by the name of Drusilla, and Drusilla was the childe of Angelus. And me, yeah you guessed it, I'm Angelus. Well, actually I'm Angel because I have a soul now. It was given to me as a curse, but I've adjusted and now it's more a blessing. But when you think about it is still a curse because I'm forced to feel guilt for all my actions, whereas humans don't have to...okay, now I'm rambling, where was I? Oh yeah, William. When Drusilla first showed me William I knew he was mine, and that hasn't changed. No matter what happens I will always think of William as mine. He actually thinks I hate him, but that's so far from the truth it's almost funny. I love William. I always have and always will. I just wish I had the guts to tell him before.

You see, I was given an evil law firm after I destroyed world peace. Yeah, I know, it almost seems as though I'm still Angelus. Anyway, I used the evil law firm's resources to destroy the Senior Partners' base of operations. Yeah, that's right the Senior Partners. And what's worse is I dragged my friends into it, William too. We were all supposed to meet in an alley to defeat the army of demons the Senior Partners were sure to send. Only Wes never showed up, Gunn arrived half-dead, Illryia was grieving, and William was bleeding. Our chances at winning looked great, note the sarcasm. It's not that I expected to come out of this alive, but it's just now hitting me. I'm gonna die. My friends are gonna die. William was gonna die. I really didn't want to drag them into this, but I needed people I could trust to help me. I mean really, who was gonna help, Harmony? Note the rolling of eyes and sarcastic tone. Anyway, I'm straying off topic again.

As soon as the battle started I did what any hero does, I slew the dragon. Yeah, a real dragon, with wings and everything. After about a hundred demons were killed, Gunn went down. Some Gorra-gorra demons attacked him. I had to watch as my last human friend was ripped apart. I noticed that a blue streak was going after him, Illryia. She never made it to him though. Some Calcic demon cut off her head. She bled purple, is that normal for a demon-god? I have to admit that she was starting to grow on me, and I respected her for trying to save Gunn. By now you have to understand that after seeing the last of my friends being killed off, I was a little more than pissed. So I did what any hero does, I took my aggression out on the bad guy. I killed and slaughtered like there was no tomorrow, but there probably wasn't going to be one, not for me any way.

Eventually the amount of demons decreased until about two were left. I killed my last when and turned to see if William was okay. I knew he wasn't dead, my William was a fighter. When I looked over I saw William fighting some low level demon, while one snuck up on him. Just as William killed his demon, I threw myself onto the one approaching him. That was probably a mistake, judging from the sword sticking out of my stomach. I fell to the ground in pain. Great, the Powers gave me humanity and I'm dying. Just fucking great. William appeared in my line of sight and I started to cry. I would never see him again, but I had to explain.

"It tried to kill you. I couldn't...let that happen." Great, I need to tell him I love him and I'm dying and I can barely talk. Why is my life so complicated?

"Shush, luv. Don't cry, Angel. You stupid pouf, you didn't have to save me. I would've survived, I always do." William's words were choked out sobs. He was grieving. I'm so sorry William, I want to stay, but the Powers are fucking idiots.

"I love you. Always have, always will. Good-bye, Will." My last words were but whispers. I feel so bad leaving him there. If I know William, and I do, he probably hasn't left that god-damned alley. I wish I could be there with him, I mean I'm not doing anything. I'm sitting in some vast dark place, with no light, no sound, nobody, except for me. I dream though. Sometimes, I dream I'm standing in that alley with William. I dream that we talk about everything and anything, the good and the bad. And I know that if William is having the same thoughts, that he will never leave that god-damned alley.

Is it good? Please review, I'm begging, I'm pleading. Please!


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